I came across some good news in the barbershop the other day, and for a guy my age there’s hardly ever good news in a barbershop. I have so much hair loss I should be getting my haircuts for free, but the barber says it costs more than ever because he adds a finder’s fee.
So while I waited for him to take a little off the side and a little more off the wallet, I started reading a magazine article about Europe in the early 1900s. Most of the homes in Europe are hundreds of years old because they were built before things like insul-brick or vinyl siding or real estate developers. But houses that old need a lot of maintenance to keep them looking fresh. So back then, if you saw a house that needed a coat of paint or some chimney repointing, you knew that the owners were short of money. If the house was looking just fine, you knew the owners were getting by. But if the house was completely falling apart—get this—it meant the owners were incredibly rich. It was called “benign neglect.” Something to do with old money or another way of telling the neighbours, “Our family is so powerful that we can ignore the forces of nature and be just fine.” It’s the same logic that led to inbreeding.
But I’m thinking we need to bring that whole benign neglect thing back. Suddenly, my home and garden will look like they belong to the Sultan of Brunei. The missing shingles, the cracked windows, the charred tree beside the barbecue—all signs that this guy has deep pockets. And why stop at property? Benign neglect Would also work well as a fitness regime. The worse shape you’re in, the richer you look, because the coded message is, “Whatever part of my body blows up, I have enough money to get it fixed or replaced.”
